Halloween Countdown Day 1: My Bloody Valentine

It’s Halloween, and Geoff’s getting in the spirit by snuggling up on the couch and watching a scary movie every day until the trick-or-treaters arrive.

If you haven’t seen these movies, you should. You really, REALLY should. 

Day 1: My Bloody Valentine (1981)

This is NOT the dumb 2009 remake. We're going OG here.

All the way to the Great White North circa 1981.

Canada is a magical place: Universal health care, an ever present moose problem, Wayne Gretzky --- and now MASS MURDER!

The Plot in 140 characters: Harry hates him some Feb. 14, but the small Canadian town he lives in just won't listen. Time to turn off the Degrassi and stab some hosers.

"Take off, b'y or yer in fer a world a hurt, there, eh?"

The Actual Plot: The small mining town of Valentine Bluffs, Nova Scotia throws a big Valentine's Day Dance every year, but when two miners take off for the party several workers are killed in an accident, save one. Trapped in the mine for weeks Harry Warden murders some folk and swears if the town ever holds another V-Day dance again he'll be back.

Twenty years later, they hold another dance.

Why I love it: My Bloody Valentine is one of those movies that flew under my radar for years, but now that I've seen it I can't imagine a world without it. It's the perfect example of the of what made slasher films in the late 1970s and early 1980s so much fun, before the genre jumped the shark in more recent decades.

Back in the early '80s the slasher film reigned supreme. With the commercial success of Halloween and Friday the 13th, movie companies jumped on the bandwagon, producing imitation after imitation of crazy killers stalking sex-starved co-eds with ridiculous weapons and gimmicks.

My Bloody Valentine is certainly no exception to that trend. It went from script to screen in a blistering 6 months, and it certainly has its share of gimmicks (a crazed killer who only strikes on a holiday? Michael Myers called, he wants his concept back), but why I love My Bloody Valentine is because although it steals from films like Halloween and Friday the 13th rather liberally, it still finds a way to be all kinds of unique.

"What do you mean we're out of Moosehead?"

Valentine doesn't bother following the slasher film "rules." There is no traditional Last Girl,  virgins die just as frequently as everyone else  and the main "hero" of the film isn't really all that likable of a character (in fact, he's kind of a tool).

Plus, these aren't sexy co-eds out to bang each other at camp, these are working class blue-collars who struggle to make ends meat day in and day out. It's dangerous work and they look forward to one day a year when they can let loose and enjoy themselves. And nothing is going to stop that.

More contemporary slashers (including Friday the 13th) have made the killers into supernatural monsters, but back in the day it wasn't about that. Harry Warden isn't some supernatural predator come back from beyond the grave, he's just a man with a (pick)axe to grind.

 

In fact, when you get right down to it, My Bloody Valentine is a charming little film. Sure it's got people getting murdered and stuffed into dryers, and people getting murdered and stuffed into freezers, and people getting murdered and stuffed into old mine shafts but when you boil it down Harry Warden isn't such a bad dude. Harry may kill indiscriminately but at least he has a reason. Those miners DIED because of the Valentine's Day Dance, and all Harry wants you to do is respect them and their sacrifice.

If they decided to hold a Canada Day Dance, for example, I bet Harry would have been all for that.

Part of me also loves this movie because it's just so under appreciated. Not that it doesn't deserve the scorn it received initially, the theatrical cut of the film is as butchered as some of Harry's early victims.

The film received an "X" rating before its release because it was "too violent" and every death scene had to be re-cut to tone down the carnage.

Slasher films rely on blood and gore to survive, and the film bombed theatrically because of it. With hardly any violence, that film flows more like a silly made-for-TV version of what could have been a great Halloween-night flick.

On the other hand, you do get to see the beautiful Canadian landscapes

Thankfully the uncut version of the film was finally released a few years ago and boy is it worth it. I had originally only seen the theatrical cut and found it a bit pointless, but having recently watched the uncut version I stand corrected.

If you are going to watch one slasher movie this Halloween, make it the director's cut of My Bloody Valentine.

Mind: BLOWN.

(Geoff's note: As of this writing, My Bloody Valentine is on Netflix, but only the theatrical cut, so a trip to Best Buy might be in order to pick this one up. It's worth it. Trust me).

Also, before I forget, it has a rather touching END CREDITS song:

TOMORROW: The John Carpenter's final "Apocalypse" film, In the Mouth of Madness.

Warning in advance: This film makes absolutely no sense.